Dylan Brogan
Deception, a Chicago-based exotic dancer, serenades staff writer Allison Geyer during her first lapdance.
You don’t expect to see a fully naked man simulating sex with a watermelon at the Wil-Mar Neighborhood Center. Since 1968, the former church has been known for hosting crunchy, extremely eastside Madison events like the socialist potluck supper and gentle yoga for osteoporosis. But on a recent November evening, I find myself with two friends at the community center, where something decidedly more racy is going on.
This reporter’s journey started, as so many do, with an unusual thing I saw online. My friend Huan-Hua — who always seems to dig up the best content the internet has to offer — shared a Facebook event for a “Ladies Night Male Review” at the Wil-Mar Center. “Somehow I can’t stop laughing at the combination of event and venue,” she wrote.
When I contact event organizer Valencia Riley, she tells me she had similar misgivings about the apparent juxtaposition of event and venue. “I was apprehensive at first,” she says. But the Wil-Mar Center event coordinator told Riley not to worry. “She said, ‘Honey, we have so many out-there groups that do events here that aren’t publicized. You just never hear about them.’”
Riley, 41, wanted to throw a party aimed at women 30 and older — a demographic she says is underserved locally. In August, she launched her event company, The Sophisticated Ladies, with hopes of filling the void. “When you’re a little older, you don’t want to party with children,” she says. “There’s nothing for adults, unless you like bowling or movies.”
With Riley’s blessing, I make plans to attend the show with Huan-Hua and fellow Isthmus staffer Dylan Brogan in tow for moral support. We arrive unfashionably early and find a handful of people seated around tables in the Yahara Room. Onstage, a DJ plays ‘90s hip-hop on his computer. The atmosphere is subdued; the room is bathed in overbright fluorescent light.
Waiting for the strippers to arrive, the conversation at our table turns to current events — namely, the torrent of men being called out for sexual misconduct against women. I wonder if this male review offers some larger lesson or social commentary about sex-positivity and female empowerment. Are we flipping the male gaze? But when I pose the question to other guests, they look at me like I am insane. They’re not here for feminism. They’re here for the hunks.
Finally — mercifully — someone dims the lights. A young man in a sharp blue suit appears in the doorway. To my amazement, he does not disrobe; instead, he walks from table to table, shaking hands and handing out business cards. “Deception,” the card reads, next to a photo of his chiseled torso. After the networking session he reemerges, wearing red sequined pants and a matching vest, which he promptly and ceremoniously removes.
Amid my screams of nervous laughter, I’m struck by the nuances and communication within his performance. The show is highly interactive (I’m talking lap dances and SO MUCH MORE). Most in the audience are game to participate, but I observe several decline with a subtle hand gesture or shake of the head. And then suddenly, it’s my turn. We lock eyes. Unsure of stripper etiquette, I panic and scramble to offer him some singles.
I’m still clutching the money as he guides me to the front of the room where he flips me around like a ragdoll. (For context, I am a person who gets embarrassed during renditions of “Happy Birthday.”) He pauses to check on me. “Are you okay, ma’am?” he asks with genuine concern. I tell him that I am. He sits me down on a chair and writhes in front of me, lip syncing along to an R&B song while maintaining eye contact, which is somehow more unsettling than the grinding. He pulls me up and flips me around again so I’m facing the audience, and, with a firm slap to my ass, sends me back to my seat. As the women in the audience cheer supportively, I’m suddenly able to relax. This is a safe space. I remain a feminist. And I am also here for the hunks.
The talent: Deception, K-Love, Night Rider
Tools of the trade: Watermelon, cantaloupe, whipped cream, cock ring, assless chaps
Ticket price: $25
Annual revenue of U.S. strip club industry: $7 billion
Did you know? When Madison cab drivers take patrons to local strip clubs, they get a bonus of $5 from the establishment
Other events from The Sophisticated Ladies: Eargasm Erotic Poetry at Cranefield’s VFW Post 1318
