Undaunted after the Supreme Court unanimously rejected his bid to reverse President Trump’s defeat in Wisconsin and three other states, Texas attorney general Ken Paxton once again has trained his sights on the Badger State.
On Monday Paxton petitioned the NFL, demanding that the league reverse the results of the Dallas Cowboys’ 21-17 defeat at the hands of the Green Bay Packers in the legendary game played on Dec. 31, 1967, known as the Ice Bowl.
As the game wound down to its final seconds and a howling gale delivered a wind chill reported as -70 F at the time, quarterback Bart Starr snuck across the goal line to make the Packers NFL champions once again.
Or so it has appeared for the past 43 years.
At a press conference Paxton laid out his case to the NFL. “Ya know, Trump called our little old suit to reverse an American election, ‘The Big One.’ Shoot. That was nothin'. This is the one all of Texas really cares about!”
In his letter to Pete Rozelle, who was commissioner in 1967 but who died in 1996, Paxton makes several unfounded allegations. He claims that the football held by Starr never actually crossed the goal line despite clear photographic evidence to the contrary.
He also claims that lineman Jerry Kramer, who threw the key block for Starr, was offside. But footage from the play, which might be the most heavily analyzed moment in the history of the NFL, shows no such infraction.
Finally, Paxton points to an image of Packers running back Chuck Mercein leaping over the line, apparently trying to fake out the Cowboys. “This is fraud, pure and simple,” said Paxton. “Several Cowboys acted in good faith believing Mercein had the ball. And all the while Starr was stealing the game in the darkness beneath a pile of linemen. Despicable!”
Trump lawyer Sidney Powell, who has joined Paxton’s legal team, befuddled legal scholars and football analysts by demanding that CBS turn over footage from an Oct. 12, 1969, game between the Packers and Detroit Lions at Tiger Stadium.
In a terse response the NFL said, “That broadcast is the property of the NFL and the Green Bay Packers football club and was intended solely for the entertainment use of the viewing audience. Any rebroadcast or other use of the descriptions and accounts of the game without the express written consent of the NFL and the Green Bay Packers is strictly prohibited.”
Citizen Dave has been on a satire tear of late. He claims that recent events have been so absurd as to defy serious analysis. He promises to get over it as soon as public officials stop doing outrageously stupid things.
