Hard-truth time: It was 24 years ago when Bruce Springsteen released his song “57 Channels (And Nothing On).” Back then, people still thought cable was amazing, Now, there’s a choice from among cable, satellite, Netflix and a half-dozen other streaming options. Maybe people Bruce’s age today complain about all those new options.
And choices continue to proliferate.
In Madison, as it has been around the country over the last few years, the mega-taproom philosophy has taken root. World of Beer runs 54 tap lines in Middleton. Mr. Brews’ new east Madison location pours beers and ciders out of 64 lines, and its five other area locations offer a similar scope. HopCat trumpeted its 130 taps on billboards all over the area. (All tap counts in this column are based on the businesses’ online listings or recent tap menus.)
Even “smaller” businesses are hooked up with multiple dozens of tap lines. Dexter’s has 24, Brasserie V has 26, Cafe Hollander has 36 (if I’m reading its long and convoluted beer menu properly). Lucille cooks up pizza, burgers and a dance party vibe, and still has around 23 taps running at any given time. The Malt House has 18 taps and no food at all. The cozy near-west Blue Moon Bar & Grill has 14 taps, and now we’re getting close to the range I might describe as “tight” or “tidy.”
I peg the tidy tap list at a dozen beers or fewer. At that size, a restaurant or bar has to make the toughest decisions, choosing beers that speak to its aesthetic, pair well with its food menu, or draw in the beer geeks. The sub-dozen tap list has to be well-curated or else it’s not tight or tidy — it’s just small or, even worse, meager.
There are a handful of restaurants I think of right away when considering the tidy tap list. Oliver’s, right across the street from the no-slouch-itself Blue Moon, has a great bar program in general, and the dozen taps are pretty well tuned to the joint. The list on the website is fairly Stone-heavy (following a recent beer dinner featuring the California brewer), but from Stone’s signature IPAs to New Belgium’s Tart Lychee wild ale, from an Irish dry stout from North Coast to Lakefront’s Czech pilsener, the Oliver’s tap list mirrors its eclectic kitchen offerings. As the weather cools, though, just try and stop me from ordering a stout-inflected Warm Irish Sweater cocktail, though.
As a divey corner neighborhood bar in a past life, the snazzed-up Tip Top Tavern does a fine job of curating its roughly 12-strong tap list. In addition to a Three Floyds tap takeover recently, the Tip Top frequently has one or two beers served on a nitro line, resulting in a smooth mouthfeel and creamy head that can be lingered over. Beers such as Lagunitas WTF, Sprecher Krystal Paradise, Pearl Street Smokin’ Hemp Porter, and 3rd Sign Hausgeist have haunted Tip Top’s taps. Special recognition goes to the seasonality of Tip Top beers; during springtime visits, I have found the tap list to be pleasantly full of witbiers and other light, sessionable ales. Not that PBR isn’t frequently on the list, too; it is.
With Gib’s Bar and Grampa’s Pizzeria on Williamson, perhaps I should be counting the total number of taps, considering the symbiotic relationship between the two. Each bar has its own vibe, though, whether it’s the frequently wild and sour eight-handle lineup at Gib’s — Jolly Pumpkin, O’So, and Une Annee are recent taps — or the half-dozen taps at Grampa’s that are often yeast- and malt-centric. Beers like Short’s Bellaire Brown, Ballast Point Wahoo White, and Central Water’s Centraal Quadder (a collaboration with Milwaukee’s Lowlands Group of restaurants) all build nicely off of the crisp pizza crusts and warm ginger cakes coming out of the Grampa’s kitchen.
Tidy taps abound on the ever-cooler Johnson Street corridor, and here I’m talking about Forequarter, Salvatore’s and the Robin Room. Forequarter’s current tap list is a wee five beers strong, but they’re no shrinking violets. A big IPA from Against the Grain called Pile of Face, the Brett Saison from Milwaukee’s Like Minds Brewing, and Capital’s Fishin’ in the Dark schwartzbier deliver big, complex flavors that stand up to the often funky dishes from Forequarter’s tiny kitchen.
Pizza and tacos are readymade for pale ales, and Sal’s serves up Karben4’s Fantasy Factory IPA, Bear Republic’s Mach 10 imperial IPA and Half Acre’s Daisy Cutter, as well as maltier pours like a barrel-aged Scotch ale from Square One in St. Louis and One Barrel’s wee heavy with something of an identity crisis — is it Willie Wee, or Wee Willy? Sources differ. But if you can snag one of the very few bar seats at Sal’s, you can find out for yourself.
I’ve been spending kind of a lot of time at the Robin Room over the last couple weeks, which only draws a dark circle around the fact that it took me way too long to get there for the first time at all. It’s a great little spot. There are 15 tap lines, but at least three are taken up by tap cocktails; beer and cider have only occupied 10 at a time, from my experience. I had a Three Floyds Zombie Dust during Robin Room’s recent tiki week, which seemed appropriate given the tropical flavors of the beer. It also went well with a locally made Spam sandwich. Taps turn over fast here, but other recent pours include Unibroue’s La Fin du Monde, Central Waters’ Barrel-Aged Scotch Ale, and a handful of Door County Brewing Company’s releases. If I lived closer, I’d probably be at the Robin Room four nights a week.
This list isn’t meant to be exhaustive, and it’s not my position that the mega-tap places are devoid of value. But there’s a certain relief to sitting down at a restaurant or bar, looking at the tap list, and knowing that some of those tough “What do I order, UGH” decisions have already been made for you, or that the menu is all metaphorical wheat, no metaphorical chaff. There’s nothing worse than feeling like there are 100 tap lines, and nothing on.
