Dear Tell All: My boyfriend and I work at the same corporate headquarters on Madison’s west side. It’s a fairly buttoned-down place, so we kept our dating quiet for a few months. By now everyone knows about it, and we’ve been together a little over a year. But I’m not sure if our relationship will survive Halloween.
Our floor planned a pre-Halloween party, and I was surprised by how much interest my boyfriend took in my costume choice. I was considering a modest cowgirl outfit, but he became obsessed with a super-sexy nurse’s costume he showed me online. It was a very tight, very low-cut white mini-dress, with the model in red stiletto heels and fishnet stockings.
At first I shrugged it off with a laugh. But when he persisted, I had to bluntly tell him I didn’t think such revealing clothes were appropriate for our conservative office.
For the first time since I’ve known him, he threw a fit. He accused me of being a prude, a stick-in-the-mud and a bad girlfriend who wouldn’t grant a harmless request. He applied so much pressure that I finally gave in, not wanting to “ruin our relationship over a Halloween costume,” as he put it.
I tried to get into the spirit, but the party proved to be a humiliating experience. The men on our floor leered at me, and the women glared disapprovingly. My boyfriend seemed to enjoy seeing me on display, and I’m not sure why. Was it an ego thing? A sadistic thing? A perverse sexual turn-on?
Since then, I’ve felt self-conscious at work and uneasy with my boyfriend. Can this relationship survive Halloween? Should it?
Nurse Retched
Dear Nurse: The relationship should not survive Halloween. Your boyfriend pressured you to do something you didn’t want to do. He called you names. He humiliated you in front of coworkers. What more do you need to know? He doesn’t need a sexy nurse; he needs a licensed psychotherapist.
No matter what costume this guy chooses for himself this Halloween, one thing is clear: He’s a monster. And we all know what to do when one of those appears. Run!!!
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Or about navigating the upcoming holidays? I'll be answering your holiday questions in a special Thanksgiving issue.
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