Dear Tell All: Half of my extended family lives in Wisconsin, and the other half in South Carolina. The South Carolina branch is politically conservative, whereas we Wisconsinites are all liberal Democrats. We’re college graduates, with a sprinkling of advanced degrees, while most of the South Carolinians never got beyond a high school diploma. That side of the family doesn’t tend to value an education.
It’s been easy enough to avoid politics, given that they’re half a continent away. We also avoid the subject when we all get together at least once a year for family reunions, weddings and funerals. Every once in a while there’s an awkward moment when George W. Bush or Barack Obama comes up, but political arguments have never been much of a problem.
That all changed last week. My sister posted a rant against Donald Trump on Facebook, assuming that her liberal friends would chime in with approving comments. They did, but then one of my South Carolina cousins added his own sharply worded pro-Trump comment. I’d never seen him post anything before, and my sister probably forgot he was even one of her Facebook friends.
My sister snapped. She pounced on my cousin’s comment, doubling down on her denouncement of Trump. That brought more South Carolina family members out of the woodwork on Facebook, all of them praising Trump and attacking my sister. Suddenly, the cultural and intellectual divide in our family cracked wide open. Both sides were talking past each other on the subjects of guns, immigrants, climate change and abortion, with no one giving an inch.
The comment thread is still raging, and I’m wondering if I should jump in to defend my sister. I know I’ll feel like a coward for not stating my opinion, since the members of the conservative fringe in South Carolina have no problem stating theirs.
Card-Carrying Member of the ACLU
Dear Card-Carrying Member: My advice is to stay out of it, and to pull your fellow liberal family members away from the fight if you can.
I’m all for engaging in civil discourse about political issues, but this discussion sounds far from civil. That’s one reason to shut it down. Another is suggested by your comment about “family reunions, weddings and funerals.” You’ll keep seeing these people on a regular basis, so why focus on your differences, especially if there’s no way to bridge the gap? I’d try to smooth over this rift and go back your old policy of avoiding the subject of politics.
Rather than engaging in a fruitless spat with your South Carolina relatives, do something constructive by knocking on doors for Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders up here. You may still get hostile comments, but they won’t sting as badly coming from strangers.
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