Dear Tell All: Like everybody else, I’m disgusted by the college admissions scandal. I hope the legal system metes out severe punishment to the rich parents who used bribes and cheating to get their undeserving kids into Yale, Stanford and other elite schools. But I’m troubled that law-abiding parents like me are also getting shamed for employing college counselors and test-prep services.
I refuse to feel guilty for using legal means to ensure the best for my kids. Both are good students, both work hard and both aim for the top. Their dream schools on the East Coast were intensely competitive, and my husband and I knew that families far wealthier than ours were paying for top-shelf college counseling services. So why shouldn’t we do everything we could afford for our kids, too? Both of them worked with a Madison-based service to prep for the ACT and SAT, and both met with counselors to discuss strategies for essays, activities, school visits, etc.
I’m glad to say that both kids got into their top choices, and I’m proud of the role I played in making that happen. This isn’t gaming the system — it’s working hard to achieve a goal. It’s caring about your children’s future.
I resent the insinuation that my husband and I are little better than cheating millionaires like Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman.
Dudgeon Monroe
Dear Dudgeon: I’m happy your kids got into their dream schools. I’m happy you’re invested in their futures. What I’m not so happy about is your tone.
While it’s true you broke no laws, you did use your relative affluence to give your kids an advantage over less well-off applicants. It’s your right to spend your money however you want, Dudgeon, but how about doing so with a bit of self-awareness? Instead of bragging about “working hard,” you might consider acknowledging that elite colleges are rigged in favor of families like yours. Instead of “refusing to feel guilty,” you might consider donating to scholarships that level the playing field.
Finally, instead of resenting the comparison to Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, you might think about the ways you are sort of like them. That’s the path to growth and humility.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tell all@isthmus.com.
