Dear Tell All: Last year I made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight. I embarked on the project with a strong sense of purpose, throwing away packaged cookies and cartons of ice cream. I made a list of what I would do: avoid having seconds, avoid having midday snacks, avoid having desserts.
January went well. In February, I cheated every once in a while, mostly at special events. By summer, I was pretty much back to my old habits, though guilt prevented from eating quite as much as I used to.
This month, I got on the scale for the first time in a while. I weighed three pounds more than I did at the end of 2014, and felt utterly defeated.
I feel even worse when I compare myself to a friend of mine. She also vowed to lose weight in 2015, and she clearly has. I don’t know what her secret is, and it’s too depressing to broach the subject with her, given my own embarrassing failure.
So what are my options? It’s clear that New Year’s resolutions don’t work for me, and I have no hope of losing weight in 2016. I feel like a pathetic excuse for a person.
Tubby Tara
Dear Tara: There is hope, but only if you stop saying things like “I have no hope.” And starting this minute, you must cease referring to yourself as “Tubby Tara.”
You are not a pathetic excuse for a person. You are a normal person battling powerful forces, both cultural and physiological. As your friend demonstrated in 2015, however, normal people can win this battle. Her example should be inspiring, not depressing.
A reasonable first step would be to reverse course and talk to her about her success. Ask her about her strategies and enlist her as an ally. You’re much more likely to attain your goal by working with someone than by going it alone. Make her the person you officially contact every day with a progress report on your weight.
A reasonable second step would be to weigh yourself every morning. Never again say “I got on the scale for the first time in a while.” In 2016, you will remain vigilant on a daily basis.
I predict that, at this time next year, stepping on the scale will not be a source of panic. It will be a source of pride.
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