Dear Tell All: My fiance’s parents don't live too far from Madison. I'm still trying to make a good impression on them, so I'm in ultra-polite mode at all times. As a result, I'm weighing what to do about the terrifying experience of driving with my soon-to-be father-in-law.
Almost every we time we see my in-laws, he drives us to a restaurant. He speeds, takes turns too fast and tailgates, leaving me cowering in the backseat. My fiance and his mother don't seem to notice, presumably because they're used to his reckless driving.
They also fail to respond during the inevitable explosion of road rage. It usually starts with him mumbling curse words under his breath. That often leads to him cutting off another car, rolling down his window and screaming while veering in and out of his lane.
My fiance reveres his father, so I've been reluctant to bring it up with him. I know I wouldn't want him criticizing my parents, so I don't feel like it's my place to criticize his. (Full disclosure: His father is a great guy when he's not driving.) At the same time, I fear for my life getting into a car with this man.
How would you handle this delicate situation?
Defenseless Driver
Dear Defenseless Driver: I acknowledge that the situation with your father-in-law is delicate, but less so with your fiance. You should be able to openly discuss a problem with your future husband — and the fear of dying in a fiery car crash definitely qualifies as a problem.
If I were you, I'd give him the responsibility for dealing with your father-in-law's behavior. Why should you — the new member of the family — have to sort out this craziness? Your fiance should care enough about your safety to act decisively, demanding that his father calm down behind the wheel or let somebody else drive.
In the meantime, you can do your part to defuse the crisis. Next time you show up at your in-laws' door, hand them a casserole and suggest eating at home. Then you can enjoy your father-in-law's "great guy" side and avoid the road-raging Mr. Hyde.
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