Dear Tell All: I’m a sophomore at the University of Wisconsin-Madison. I knew that, along with its great academic reputation, UW-Madison was considered a party school. But I figured that at such a big place I could find plenty of people like me. I don’t enjoy drinking or drugs, or staying out late at big, rowdy parties. I’m interested in international studies and am a nerd who likes to talk about politics.
Last year, however, I was paired with a party-hound roommate. Everyone on my dorm floor was the same way. I got pulled into that scene and went along with it, mostly because I didn’t want to start college as an outcast. I partied a lot and had fun, but most of the time I felt bad about myself and my situation.
These people became my friends, and I still love them. They remain my major social circle, and this year I’m living in a suite that includes my freshman roommate. But after starting sophomore year with one party after another—just like freshman year—I’m sick of it. I’m worried about spending all my time feeling physically and emotionally uncomfortable.
But I have an even bigger fear: spending all my time feeling lonely. If I drift away from my current group, I’ll have no one to hang out with. What should I do?
Closeted Straight Edge
Dear Straight Edge: I don’t think you need advice, because you’ve already answered your own question. You say you don’t want to spend all your time feeling physically and emotionally uncomfortable. So you shouldn’t.
What you do need is encouragement. It takes courage to venture out from your established social circle, but that’s exactly what you need to do. Luckily, you have 40,000 more potential friends to choose from on campus. They’re not all obsessed with partying, as you can tell from a random sampling of the 900 student organizations: the Actuarial Club, the Adopt a Grandparent Organization, the Alexander Hamilton Society, etc. And that’s just the A’s.
The Alexander Hamilton Society describes itself as “an independent, nonpartisan, not-for-profit organization dedicated to promoting constructive debate on basic principles and contemporary issues in foreign, economic, and national security policy.” Sounds right up your alley, doesn’t it? Give it a try, Straight Edge, and if you don’t like it, move on to the B’s.
By the time you get to Z, I predict you will have a packed social schedule with like-minded UW-Madison friends.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison?
Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.
