Dear Tell All: About a decade ago I lucked into an entry-level job at a great Madison company. I had only a shaky grasp of my responsibilities but benefited from a wonderful supervisor. He was an industry veteran who knew the ropes and took the time to teach me everything. He made it clear that no question was too stupid, no workday too busy for a tutorial. Along the way he passed on his strong worth ethic, professionalism and attention to detail. Most important of all, he showed me what it means to be a humane colleague.
My boss moved on about three years after I started. We stayed in touch as I rose through the ranks, becoming a supervisor myself. Meanwhile, things didn’t go so well for him. He suffered through a divorce and left a couple of jobs for reasons he never explained to me. I watched as his personal and professional life spiraled downward, either from bad decisions or bad luck.
We saw either other less frequently, until face-to-face contact ended altogether. But I recently heard from him again, for the first time in a couple years. He applied for a low-level job in my company, with me as the supervisor.
It was painful to go through the interview process. I pulled for him, of course, but he clearly wasn’t the right fit for the position and was outshone by other applicants. The three other people on the hiring committee, who hadn’t known him previously, would have considered me crazy for recommending him.
So my old mentor didn’t get the job as my new underling. I’m the one who had to break the news to him, and it was as painful and awkward as you’d imagine. I feel guilty for not bending over backwards for him — should I have?
Heartless Bastard
Dear Heartless: You don’t have to feel guilty, because you can still bend over backwards for your unfortunate friend.
There’s no need for guilt if he wasn’t the right fit for the job. As the person who taught you about professionalism, he should understand that.
But your responsibility shouldn’t end after telling him the bad news. If you want to pay him back for everything he did for you, do all you can to find him a job that is the right fit. Work your contacts, send him resources and offer moral support. Show him you learned his long-ago lesson about what it means to be a humane colleague.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.
