Dear Tell All: I had strict parents, especially my dad. He put up lists of rules on a bulletin board for my sister and me to follow, including how to act at the dinner table, how to treat guests, and how to keep our rooms.
The worst thing you could do was challenge Dad on the rules. He didn’t care to hear your arguments and just got furious if you tried. “My house, my rules,” he’d shout. Even when the rules seemed irrational, my sister and I learned just to follow them, at least when he was around. Life was a lot easier that way.
I don’t live at home anymore, thank God, and my relationship with my dad has improved as a result. But I’m trying to figure out what to do when I drive with him. He’s always prided himself on being a good driver, with no accidents or speeding tickets. Lately, though, he’s been using his cellphone behind the wheel. It typically starts at a stoplight, when he’ll look up something or send a text. The light turns green, and he just continues tapping into the phone while driving down the street.
It’s terrifying, and I don’t know how to stop him. As I said, my dad doesn’t like to be challenged, and I haven’t done so in years. But I’m worried about his life, my life, and the lives of other people on the road. How would you handle this uncomfortable situation?
Passenger in Peril
Dear Passenger: You didn’t mention your age, but if you’re old enough to live on your own, you’re old enough to stand up to this bully. Sorry to call your dad that name, but I’m going by your own description.
I have no sympathy for tyrannical parents, and I’d urge you not to tiptoe around him anymore. This time he’s breaking a rule, and it’s not an irrational one. Your father is endangering everyone in his path, not to mention his own child. Calling him out will do wonders for your self-respect.
How about taking a cue from his old bulletin board? Tape a piece of paper to the windshield that says “Get Off the Damn Phone.” If he blows up at you, just calmly respond, “My life, my rules.”
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