Dear Tell All: I usually love the Summer Olympics, but not this year. My wife and I got married in June, and the Rio games were the first ones we ever watched together. I’m a big track-and-field fan, while she followed pool sports like diving and swimming. She made no secret of the fact that she liked the male athletes’ bodies, rippling with muscles in their tiny swim trunks.
At first I let it go, even though it made me uncomfortable. I admit I don’t go to the gym and am not in great shape, but my wife had never made me feel ashamed of my body. Our sex life has always been good.
But her constant leering at the male athletes made me wonder. If that’s her ideal, what must she think of me?
Even more distressing, the Olympics beefcake spectacle appeared to put her in a permanent state of sexual arousal. For the first time, I noticed her checking out musclebound guys at the Willy Street Co-op and on State Street.
I held my tongue because I didn’t want to seem like an idiot. But it all came out after a party on the Olympics’ last weekend. We were watching a night of track and platform diving with a group of neighbors, and just about every time a new diver appeared my wife made an admiring comment to one of her girlfriends.
I confronted her afterwards, calling her insensitive. She responded by calling me paranoid. She affirmed that she loved me while berating me for my insecurity.
Remember I said our sex life has been good? Well, not since then. How can my wife and I get over our first major fight?
Only Slightly Overweight
Dear Overweight: I agree that you sound paranoid. If your sex life has been good, and your wife says she loves you, what’s the problem with her ogling male fantasy figures? Are you trying to tell me you never ogle female fantasy figures?
Plus, I seriously doubt the Olympics has “put her in a permanent state of sexual arousal.” That, again, is your paranoia at work.
I also think your wife is on target in calling you insecure. Sure, she could coddle you by pretending she doesn’t admire the male divers’ bodies. But I think a better solution is for you to go to the gym, shore up your self-esteem, and trust a woman who has thus far given you no reason to do otherwise.
Do you have a question about life or love in Madison? Write Tell All, 100 State St., Madison, WI 53703. Or email tellall@isthmus.com.
