Dear Tell All: I can relate to Dumped, who wrote you about getting bad romantic advice from a female friend ("Romance Gone Wrong," 5/9/2014). Dumped wondered if the woman who suggested he ask out her girlfriend was setting him up to fail, particularly since she'd had her own flirtation with him earlier. My answer: Yes, of course she was setting him up to fail, with a friend she knew would turn him down. Women do such things if they like a guy and he likes someone else better.
How do I know? Because I've been a sucker myself more than once. In high school, a female friend egged me on to ask out one of the most popular girls in our class. She even told me that this girl had a crush on me, based on what she'd heard. Like an idiot, I fell for it. I put the moves on the popular girl (figuratively speaking) and got the coldest cold shoulder of my life.
Why did my female friend lie to me? If I knew the answer to that question, I'd be a wealthy psychiatrist. My best guess is that she was sweet on me herself and resented the fact that I considered her only a buddy. But our friendship effectively ended after that incident.
As I said, I've been a sucker more than once. But I never will again. You live and learn.
Sadder and Wiser
Dear Tell All: You implied that Dumped was sabotaged by his female friend, Carrie, who told him he had a chance with the lovely Jessica when he really did not. But I'm inclined to stick up for Carrie. It's possible that Jessica expressed some kind of interest in Dumped in conversations she had with Carrie, but that she changed her mind when he asked her out. After all, we only have one side of the story here. Dumped might have been a complete dweeb when asking out Jessica, causing her to back off.
In other words, what you describe as sabotage on Carrie's part may have actually been a case of Dumped utterly blowing it. Men have been known to do such things.
Friend of a Friend
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