Dear Tell All: This is something I would only say anonymously to an advice columnist: I find myself annoyed by my straight friends’ ecstatic reaction to the Supreme Court’s same-sex marriage ruling.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the support. But the thing is, I already knew my friends were supportive of me and my partner, and of gay rights in general. I guess I’m just put off by the self-congratulatory nature of their celebrations on social media and around town. They’ve flooded Facebook and Twitter with reports of their crying and their gratitude and their exhilaration. They couldn’t wait to post pictures of themselves superimposed with the pride rainbow.
Is it wrong for me to think that all this carrying-on is self-dramatizing on the part of straight people, at a moment that should belong to the LGBTQ community? Wouldn’t it be more respectful to let us lead the celebration, rather than rushing to insert themselves into it?
After all, we’re the ones who have been subjected to discrimination. I hate to say it, but my straight friends’ extreme emotions seem unearned.
Am I a horrible person to think they’re making a spectacle of themselves?
Ingrate
Dear Ingrate: I don’t think you’re a horrible person. It’s understandable that, after a lifetime of discrimination, you’d have complicated feelings following the Supreme Court’s legalization of same-sex marriage.
But let me gently suggest a change of perspective. Isn’t it also understandable that, after watching you face discrimination, your straight friends would be ecstatic at this turn of events? You may have a right to be annoyed at their excessive celebrating, Ingrate, but this is probably a time to forgo that right. In my view, there’s room for everyone at this party.
I’d recommend saving your hostility for those who deserve it: the politicians (including Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker) who have denounced the Supreme Court’s decision and vowed to continue the fight for discrimination. They’re the ones who are truly making a spectacle of themselves.
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