Dear Tell All: I love my wife, but our relationship is being tested by her current obsession: pleading for a dog.
She adores pets, and I don’t. She grew up with a dog, two cats, and an aquarium, while I came of age in an animal-free environment. Well, not completely animal free — our neighbors had a snarling mutt who ran across the street and bit me when I was six.
When we got married, we had no discussions about owning a dog. But now, with no chance of a pre-commitment negotiation, she insists she can’t be happy without a furry friend.
I’ve put up my best arguments. The mess. The expense. The end of our freedom. In other words, hard facts. In response, my wife offers nothing more than vague promises of “more affection in the household.”
Well, who’s to say? There may well turn out to be less affection in the household if we start having new arguments about peeing on the carpet, begging at the dinner table, and shedding all over my clothes.
My wife is so heartfelt in her desire for a dog that I’m tempted to give in just to appease her. But that’s the irrational side of me talking. The rational, cautious side worries about the potential strain in our marriage for the next 10-plus years.
What would you do?
Realistic
Dear Realistic: I’m basing my answer on the first line of your letter: “I love my wife.” If you love her, you’ll want her to be happy. To be happy, she appears to need a dog.
I understand your arguments, but are they really stronger than love? Are you saying that a few dog hairs on your pants are more important than your wife’s contentment?
You seem inordinately proud of your rational side, Realistic. I’d suggest cultivating your emotional side, which may well lead to a more joyous life.
And I have a great idea for bringing out that part of your personality: getting a dog.
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