Dear Tell All: I dated several women at UW-Madison and finally married the love of my life. I had plenty of sex during my late teens and early 20s before settling down, and my wife and I plan to have children before our 30s. Weirdly, what sounds like a normal path is the exception among my male college friends.
The guys I know from UW-Madison spent most of college in a cocoon. Sure, they went out to bars and parties occasionally, but more often they were playing videogames, streaming stuff on their phones, and messing around on social media. That hasn’t changed much since graduation.
A few of these guys have had hookups, but minimally. None of them has had a serious relationship that I know of. Now they’re obsessing about their tech careers and show little to no interest in the kind of domestic life I’m involved in.
They don’t seem sad about their lives, or at least they haven’t shown it. But I feel sad for them. It looks like a lonely existence, and it will likely be even lonelier as they age into their 30s and 40s. Are my fellow millennials doomed by technology or social trends to an isolated and loveless future?
Basic
Dear Basic: I have more faith in your friends than you do. Armed with their UW-Madison degrees and their passion for technology, I predict they will have bright futures. The picture you paint — of young men in their 20s who are emotionally adrift — could apply to young men from Generation X, the Baby Boom, or any other generation. Their love lives may look hopeless now, but these things have a way of turning around quickly in the 30s.
Besides, if they’re not sad about their lives, why should you be? You’re applying standards they don’t care about, at least not right now.
As for your question about millennials, Basic, I wouldn’t worry about where they’re headed. They’ve already proven themselves a smart and resourceful generation, and I’m confident they’ll be the authors of their own fate.
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