A white board at the Madison Police Department’s Central Precinct shows ideas for dealing with problems on State Street.
Chief Mike Koval is staying silent on a “poor attempt at a joke” discovered in the Madison Police Department’s Central Precinct. The city’s top cop has declined multiple requests for comment on a list of ideas for dealing with problems at the top of State State that was on a whiteboard just down the hall from his office.
Unlimited heroin laced with fentanyl, frequent carpet bombing and sprinklers that shoot out pepper spray were among the suggestions included on the “brainstorming” list. The State Street corner is a frequent hangout for people who are homeless and a nexus of complaints from merchants and others. Isthmus obtained a photo of the whiteboard via an anonymous source last week; the police department has verified its authenticity. Mayor Paul Soglin has also declined to comment on the matter.
The list starts with what appears to be serious ideas for dealing with the trouble spot: installing sidewalk cafes; removing the short wall that runs parallel to the Wisconsin Veterans Museum; adding decorative spikes to planters; putting in sculptures not conducive to sitting.
From there, the suggestions devolve into cruel humor: planting poison oak, poison sumac, wild parsnip and thorny bushes; bringing in Burmese tiger pits, quicksand, turkey buzzards and swarming bees; making the site an official crying-baby location or city compost site; and turning the top of State Street into an “organic lava flow.”
Madison police Lt. Brian Austin says the list was started to get input on strategies that could reduce problems in the area. An investigation is underway to determine the officers or employees who added suggestions that were not legitimate. He’s unsure what if any consequences will come of the internal review.
“We are talking to officers, and [the investigation] is progressing,” says Austin, who hopes to have the probe wrapped up in a week or two.
Former Madison police chief David Couper says if this had happened under his watch his reaction would have been, “Ouch. We’ve got to make sure this never happens again.”
“A police department has to realize that anything that doesn’t build trust and support within the community has to be addressed,” Couper adds. “We can’t just blow this off and say, ‘Oh aren’t we funny boys and girls.’ It just isn’t sufficient anymore.”
Austin doesn’t excuse the comments, but says humor is how some people deal with stress.
“There are times, places and manners of expressions where humor is acceptable. And then there are incidents where it’s not,” says Austin. “This is clearly a situation where we can’t have a breach in our decorum. I think everyone understands that.”
