Dear Tell All: My wife and I have had a fairly conventional sex life during five years together. We started out polite and reserved with each other and have slowly become more open and adventurous. Until now, the adventurousness has been all verbal: talking dirty, sharing fantasies, etc. I’ve found every new stage exciting, amazed at what’s possible between two people who trust each other.
In the process, I’ve learned something about myself. I’d always felt very normal, and I know some people see me as kind of boring. But I’ve discovered a strong attraction to breaking taboos, at least in the realm of sexual make-believe. On Dec. 31, however, the make-believe will become reality.
Over the past year, my wife and I started discussing the possibility of actually doing some of the stuff we only talk about in bed. It began as sort of a joke, with my wife taunting me — seductively — with the idea that she might really have sex with another guy in front of me. This became a running theme, and over time it morphed into a decision to really try it on New Year’s Eve.
Now we have a plan, and it both thrills and terrifies me. One of our best friends is a newly single guy who my wife has confessed an attraction to. We know he’s going solo to a neighborhood New Year’s Eve party and have agreed that she will try to seduce him there after the requisite number of drinks. If it all works out, she’ll lure him back to our place, where I will watch the two of them have sex.
This scenario is a big turn-on for me, but I’m wondering how it will feel in real time. Will jealousy get the better of me? And afterwards, could the emotional fallout affect my marriage?
Ordinary Dude
Dear Dude: You’re playing with fire, but that sounds like exactly what you want to do. Indeed, it sounds like exactly what you need to do, given your self-image as normal and boring. An evening of taboo-busting abandon could be exactly what the doctor ordered.
You’ve chosen the date well. New Year’s Eve is a zone unto itself, set apart from everyday reality. If the sexual adventure stirs up an emotional mess between you, your wife and your friend, you can just blame it on the witching hour. No authority on earth would begrudge you a do-over for Dec. 31.
No matter what happens, Dude, I predict an interesting 2018 for you and your wife. Happy New Year!
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