Some years back the novelist Jonathan Franzen released his great book The Corrections, about a family coming to terms with itself. That’s sort of what happened in Wisconsin this year; the veneer was stripped away, forcing a more honest assessment. Good thing? Bad thing? You decide.
Gov. Scott Walker, seeking to turn his record of dividing Wisconsin into GOP presidential gold, went from frontrunner to failure in a few short months, his approval rating in tatters. “It is difficult to run your state and to run for president at the same time,” he reflected. Yup.
Republicans in the Legislature alternated between shameful and shameless, enjoying their dominion over state government like that creepy omnipotent 6-year-old of Twilight Zone fame. They ignored advocates for victims of domestic violence to end the state’s 48-hour waiting period for handgun purchases. They ended the use of John Does to probe political misdeeds, demolished the nonpartisan agency charged with overseeing ethics and elections, and opened the floodgates to new waves of campaign-related spending. They even tried (and still seek) to gut the state’s open records law. All because they can.
Closer to home, events exposed Madison’s vulnerability to the coldblooded dictates of market capitalism, as Kraft Heinz prepared to shut down our Oscar Mayer plant. We were confronted with signs of low tolerance for the homeless and high tolerance for cops who shoot first, then shoot six more times, then are told they did everything right. Our high-minded notions of being a progressive community are harder than ever to sustain. Good thing? Bad thing? You decide.
What’s clear is that it was a rich year for Cheap Shots, Isthmus’ annual dispensation of well-earned low blows.
Prevaricator of the Year: Scott Walker
Hey, this is a classy publication; we don’t go around calling politicians “liars.” Besides, Walker is so much slicker than that. Here he is, in May 2012, on the cusp of his recall election, vowing to do “everything in my power” to oppose a ban on mandatory union membership or dues in private workplaces: “I have no interest in pursuing right-to-work legislation in this state.” Here he is, in September 2014, just before winning reelection to a second term: “I’m not pushing for it. I’m not supporting it in this session.” Here he is, in February 2015, just before signing a fast-tracked right-to-work bill passed by the Legislature: “I’ve never said that I didn’t think it was a good idea.” Here we are, trying to think of some way to describe this without using the L-word.
Most Self-Sacrificing Candidate: Scott Walker
Not only did our gov call his bid for president “God’s plan for me,” he said he decided to abruptly quit the race a few weeks later not because his poll numbers hit rock bottom and his campaign was in fiscal crisis, but to serve the greater good: “Today, I believe that I am being called to lead by helping to clear the field in this race so that a positive conservative message can rise to the top of the field.” A grateful nation turns its lonely eyes to you.
“Thanks a Lot, Scott” Award: Train Fiasco
We owe our governor so much: a divided state, lagging economy, national disrepute over runaway partisanship. But this year’s TaLS award goes to the lingering impact of Walker’s rejection of $810 million in federal funds for a high-speed rail line from Chicago to Madison. The state in August agreed to pay a train manufacturer nearly $10 million for ordered but never-delivered trains, on top of $42 million already spent. So that’s a $52 million kick in the groin for rejecting this job-creating infrastructure bonanza, ostensibly due to worries about operating costs, projected at around $7 million a year. Thanks a lot, Scott.
Throwback of the Year: Matt Adamczyk
The Wisconsin state treasurer’s main claim to fame is wanting to eliminate his own job. For citizens interested in good government, that can’t happen soon enough. Adamczyk, elected in 2014, launched a bizarre crusade against Tia Nelson, executive secretary of the Wisconsin Board of Commissioners of Public Lands, scrutinizing her phone and travel records and seeking her termination for “theft.” What did she steal? Taxpayer-funded time, for accepting a 2007 request from then-Gov. Jim Doyle to serve on a state Global Warming Task Force. The board initially barred staff from talking about climate change, a key issue for public lands, later softened to a ban on at-work advocacy. Nelson sensibly resigned; Adamczyk continues to draw a salary. Thief.
“What a Guy!” Award: Glenn Grothman
This deeply conservative former state legislator, who now represents Wisconsin in Congress, told a representative of Planned Parenthood, during a witch hunt disguised as a congressional hearing, that its services weren’t needed because, “as a guy, I could go to many clinics locally that have all the machines that one would need.” Presumably, aides later explained to him, with the help of Ken and Barbie dolls, that some portion of the population is not, technically, guys.
Hero Worshipper of the Year: Alberta Darling
Move over, God, who so loved the world he sent his only begotten son to die for its sins. Here’s how Darling, a Republican state senator from River Hills, described Walker’s decision to step down as chair of the failing, scandal-plagued Wisconsin Economic Development Corp.: “He loves Wisconsin so much that he felt that if some of the members on the board feel like the group would be better off if he would not be the chair...I’d say that’s leadership on his part.” Great Scott!
Exaggerator of the Year: Cindy Archer
No one doubts being the subject of a police raid is unpleasant. But this Walker administration official, whose Madison home was searched in 2011 as part of a John Doe probe that led to the criminal convictions of six others, made it sound like a terrorist attack, with police screaming in her face, threatening to put her in handcuffs and refusing her pleas to contact a lawyer. She was so outraged she sued over it, prompting investigators to release a recording of the event in which none of these things occur. Archer amended her suit to remove some falsehoods while still claiming to be a victim. Another victim in all this? The truth.
Twisted Priorities Award: $250 Million State Budget Shuffle
Besides all the other kicks in the teeth that Walker and the Republican-led state Legislature seem to delight in giving the UW System, they decided to cut a quarter of a billion dollars from its funding in the current two-year budget. By happenstance (or was it?), this is the exact amount the Legislature gave the billionaire owners of the Milwaukee Bucks for a new sports arena, a switcheroo so brazen it drew a rebuke from a columnist at Forbes. Yikes.
Most Spineless Bureaucrat: Ray Cross
In March, the newish president of the UW System won applause by vowing to resign if the Legislature did not substantially reduce Gov. Walker’s proposed $300 million funding cut and back off from plans to undermine tenure and shared governance. But when the Legislature approved a $250 million cut and proceeded to take an ax to tenure and shared governance, Cross decided that keeping his cushy job was way more important. He’s since vowed to...wait, who cares?
Meanspirited Boondoggle of the Year: Food Stamp Fraud Crackdown
Wisconsin’s overpayment error rate (including a small share of fraud) for the federally funded food assistance program was just 2% in 2014, below the already low national average of 3%. Yet ferreting out fraud remains a GOP obsession, serving as an applause line during Walker’s presidential bid. The Assembly has passed bills to drug test recipients, further restrict what kinds of food they can buy, limit the number of times they can pay to get replacement cards if theirs are lost or stolen, and make them use photo IDs, at a huge cost to taxpayers. What about going after companies that fraudulently took millions of state job-creation dollars and then failed to create jobs? Or would that be picking on the little guy?
Extremist of the Year: Jesse Kremer
This newly elected GOP state Assemblyman from Kewaskum has emerged as a fount of far-right ideas, from seeking to bar transgender students from using bathrooms that match their gender identity, to pushing to allow concealed weapons on campuses, to cracking down on the poor. What’s it like to live in his world? Here’s what Kremer told The Capital Times, when explaining his objections to exempting victims of rape and incest from his proposed 20-week abortion ban: “[I don’t think] we should put carve-outs in this bill that would essentially double down on that awful situation and selectively decide which children should and should not be inhumanely tortured to death by tearing them apart, limb from limb.”
Most Partisan Nonpartisan: Rebecca Bradley
Shortly after being sworn in as Wisconsin’s newest Supreme Court justice, filling a sudden vacancy for a seat to which she is seeking election next spring, this former member of the Republican National Lawyers Association, a past donor to Gov. Walker and the Republican Party of Milwaukee County, assured Milwaukee TV newsman Mike Gousha, “When I became a judge I set aside all of my political inclinations.” A few days later, she attended a dinner event sponsored by the Milwaukee County GOP, at which she was toasted by Walker himself, who warned darkly that she faced partisan opposition in her quest to keep the seat. Gasp!
Chutzpah Award: Duey Stroebel
In late October, this Republican state senator introduced a bill to limit the use of special elections by school districts, to prevent spending referendums from being put to voters in low-turnout elections. Some school officials predicted the change would be “catastrophic,” but Stroebel said the goal was to “inject more sincerity and honesty” into the process. He did not mention that he was first elected to the Legislature in a special election in 2011; another Senate co-sponsor, Chris Kapenga, was elected to the Senate in a special election in July.
Foul-Mouthed Bully of the Year: John Nygren
Here’s how this Republican state rep spun his role in the failed caper to end public access to most records from state lawmakers: “In my view, there should be some privacy for constituents to contact my office. You guys don’t give a shit about that.” A few years back, Nygren withheld the names of “constituents” he said contacted him to back a change in state auto insurance law; but when the names were released, they showed that most of these contacts were from insurance agents or employees. That’s the kind of detail Nygren and others want to keep private.
The O. Henry Irony Award: Open Government Opponent Robin Vos
This July, when a public backlash forced state lawmakers to pull the plug on an attempt to gut the state’s open records law, no one wanted to take credit for this idea. In fact, it was Assembly Speaker Vos who asked for these changes and who later ordered the drafting of a bill to exempt the Legislature from the law. Both discoveries were made through records requests of the sort lawmakers could have simply ignored, had the changes Vos sought gone through. Cue Nelson from The Simpsons: “Ha ha!”
Accidental Honesty Award: Chris Kapenga
In Senate debate over his party’s successful revamping of state campaign finance laws to increase the flow of cash into the electoral process, this Republican state senator twice approvingly cited what he said was conservative U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia’s sage advice on the topic: “The more money in politics, the better.” Kapenga even clucked that “nobody else is bringing up” this sage advice. Maybe that’s because he was imagining it. Scalia’s actual quote: “Thomas Jefferson would have said the more speech the better.” But clearly, Kapenga’s botched quote more accurately conveys his true view.
We Hardly Knew Ye Award: Exact Sciences
When this Madison-based medical-screening innovator said “Jump,” city of Madison officials had only one major question: “How high?” They planned a $200 million downtown redevelopment project around the notion that Exact Sciences would be an anchor tenant, only to be left anchorless when the company bailed, amid signs that its fortunes are falling. Ald. David Ahrens opposed the deal; his concerns were shrugged off but proved, er, exactly right.
Sore Loser of the Year: Robert Morlino
Madison’s bishop, who once said acceptance of gay marriage was rising because “Satan has a plan to destroy our country from within,” was characteristically churlish in reacting to the U.S. Supreme Court’s June ruling striking down state bans. He called the one-man, one-woman definition of marriage “an objective truth of the natural order,” not subject to judicial tinkering, and said his response to this ruling was to ordain six new seminarians as “warriors against evil.” No “Who am I to judge?” humility coming from this guy.
The “Get Off My Lawn!” Crotchety Old Man Award: Paul Soglin
Madison’s recurring mayor once did battle with The Establishment. Now he’s become it. Besides getting into a Quixotic battle against granting a beer license to a Belgian-style fries restaurant, Soglin is on a mission to keep those unsightly homeless people out of sight. He sponsored an ordinance to impose a time limit on using public benches and forbid sitting or lying on public sidewalks, which the Common Council overwhelmingly rejected. He ordered city workers to remove sitting stones from a public area popular with the homeless. Yet, at year’s end, Madison still has visible homeless people and beer for sale. Blame it on the hippies.
Landlord From Hell Award: Ray Peterson
This owner of 48 city of Madison rental properties displays legendary contempt toward the people unlucky enough to rent from him, ringing up 1,400 building code violations in just the last five years and prompting a Dane County judge to wrest control of his properties away from him. But Peterson’s status as Lucifer’s lessor was cemented this spring, when he went after a tenant for back rent and the $1,192 cost of biological cleanup after police gunned down a man in one of his properties. Where his heart should be, Peterson has a sign: “Vacancy.”
Badasses of the Year: Mount Horeb Residents
This hillacious hamlet west of Madison, with its Scandinavian roots and trollish conceits, is often called “quaint.” Don’t believe it. These are people you do not want to cross. The local school board learned that this year when it balked at commemorating a donor to a new fitness center, because this would have violated a longstanding district policy. The citizenry responded by cutting the annual salary of the school board’s seven members from $2,500 to $0. The salaries were subsequently restored, but still.
Authoritarian of the Year: Mike Koval
Madison’s chief of police talks a good game about teaching officers to respect constitutional rights and blah, blah, blah. But in the aftermath of yet another fatal shooting by Madison police of an unarmed man, Koval was a rock of resistance in the face of calls for actual changes in training and procedure. He even pooh-poohed the advice of former Madison Police Chief David Couper, Koval’s one-time boss, to embrace less lethal responses. Couper’s way would make fatal shootings of unarmed suspects less likely; Koval just wants to make them less controversial.
Best Putdown: Gary Lewis
No, you’re not supposed to recognize who this person is. It’s just some random dude from the town of Brooklyn who penned a one-sentence letter to the editor to The Capital Times in October. It read, in full: “Dear Editor: Since Scott Walker wants to do away with civil service and seniority and go to performance-based job retention, when is he leaving?” Sign this guy up for Cheap Shots!
In memoriam
Bob Kastenmeier: In 2002, as the U.S. prepared to make a devastating foreign policy blunder, the Madison area’s Democratic rep in Congress had this to say: “Let me be very clear: I do not support the war against Iraq. I am appalled by President Bush’s obsession with it.” It was a position consistent with the World War II veteran’s early and ardent opposition to the U.S. war in Vietnam, and other strong, principled stands during his 32 years in Congress. When he died this March at age 91, he wife, Dorothy, told The New York Times that his passion was world peace “and I think the people will remember him for that.” That would be nice.
Tony Robinson: If you’re thinking, this 19-year-old young Madison man didn’t do much with his life except get gunned down by a cop, you’ve actually hit on why he matters. All his potential…lost in a hail of bullets. It galvanized the city and spurred on the Young, Gifted and Black Coalition. People took sides over what caused his death, but no one worth paying attention to was not troubled by it.
Patrick Crooks: On Sept. 21, just days after announcing he would not seek reelection next spring, this Wisconsin Supreme Court justice died suddenly in the state Capitol. Half of his 77 years were spent as a judge, including 20 on the state’s high court, where he served with honor and distinction. In 2012, Crooks bravely called for the state to consider selecting justices based on merit, not in high-spending elections of the sort that have packed the court with ideological partisans. He was a jurist who could have passed a merit test.
Leon Varjian: A 1992 book on college pranks devoted an entire chapter to UW-Madison, with a special nod to the achievements of this former enrollee in what he remembered as “the graduate school of fun.” Varjian’s Pail & Shovel Party put pink flamingos on Bascom Hill, erected an apparently submerged Statue of Liberty poking through the ice of Lake Mendota, and led a boombox parade down State Street. He died in September at age 64 in Wood-Ridge, N.J., where he was a longtime mathematics teacher.
Helen Vukelich: This beloved Madison presence, who died in October at age 86, deserves to be judged by the company she kept. She worked for many years for Congressman Kastenmeier, was married to the late, great writer George Vukelich, raised an impressive brood of gifted children, fought on the front lines for civil rights, and helped found the Friends of the South Madison Neighborhood Center. Said The Cap Times’ Dave Zweifel: “There was no one I knew who could match her sense of fairness and her strong belief that all people needed to be treated with respect. An enormously good life has come to an end.”