Not long ago, lawyers representing Donald Trump actually argued in open court that the president could not be charged with a crime or even investigated should he follow through on one of his campaign musings and murder someone in cold blood on Manhattan’s Fifth Avenue. Chalk it up as one more reminder that our political sphere is now beyond parody.
Things are not appreciably less crazy in Wisconsin, where the Legislature shot down the will of the people over gun control while engaging in a foolish culture war campaign to insist that thing in the Rotunda is definitely not a holiday tree. They have to jam the word “Christ” in there to ensure that religious freedom in this country is not dead yet.
In response, we must jest, if we are to go on. Certain acts of commission and omission require public notice and rebuke. To that end, for more than three decades, Isthmus has been ending each year with a presentation of its Cheap Shots Awards — a devilish blend of high purpose and low blows.
Please enjoy responsibly.
Art by David Michael Miller/photo by Wish4Photography
Anti-Democracy Crusaders of the Year: Legislative Republicans
It’s as obvious as can be that Republicans know their stranglehold on state government owes to their subversion of democracy through rigged voting boundaries, allowing them to remain in control despite lacking majority support. That’s why they have refused to allow even a hearing on a bill to establish a fair and politically impartial mechanism for drawing these boundaries after the next census. That’s why they refused to even discuss bills to curb gun violence and blocked millions of dollars in aid to homeless families. And it’s why they staged a Trump-like public firing of state Agriculture Secretary Brad Pfaff for having the gall to note their callous indifference to the suffering of the state’s farmers. For shame.
Good Riddance Award: Mike Koval
Madison’s now-former chief of police has always projected arrogance and emotional volatility, as in the temper tantrum he threw in 2016 when the city hired a consultant to study ways to reduce the number of unarmed people his officers kill. So it really came as no surprise that Koval abruptly quit in September, after his department drew minor criticism from Mayor Satya Rhodes-Conway over an incident his own department agrees was mishandled. Koval whined about the indignities he suffered, including “adverse news coverage,” and said he was looking forward to his “forever vacation.” Us, too.
Enabler of the Year: Ron Johnson
Wisconsin’s senior U.S. senator has emerged from the pack of presidential butt-kissers with the brownest of noses. Johnson has derided the FBI and CIA as untrustworthy, claimed Trump was just trying to root out corruption when he pressured the president of Ukraine to dig up dirt on a political rival, and suggested that a career civil servant who testified as to Trump’s misconduct was part of a deep state conspiracy to bring him down. Oh, and Johnson personally discussed an outlandish conspiracy theory with a Ukrainian diplomat, as part of his efforts to carry water for the president. Not since Joe McCarthy has Wisconsin had a senator as shameless as this.
Charlie Brown Kickoff Loser: UW-Madison
Like former Gov. Scott Walker and the state Legislature before it, the UW-Madison got all googly-eyed at the idea of working hand-in-hand with Foxconn, a Taiwanese manufacturer with a long history of duplicity and broken promises. Foxconn pledged to spend $100 million on the state’s flagship university, which promptly agreed to sweeping confidentiality provisions. In September it came to light that, after the first year, Foxconn had coughed up just $700,000, less than 1 percent of the promised total. Hey Charlie, c’mon, try another kick. We promise not to pull the ball away again. No, really.
Helpless Handwringer of the Year: Scott Fitzgerald
After a pair of horrific mass shootings this summer, the majority leader of Wisconsin’s state Senate told reporters, “It’s frustrating, I think, because every time one of these incidents happen, we kind of wring our hands and say, ‘What can we do?’” In fact, huge majorities of the public know exactly what they want done, including universal background checks, a ban on assault weapons and high-capacity magazines, and red-flag laws to keep guns out of the hands of evidently dangerous people. But NRA-suckled politicians like Fitzgerald refuse to act. Now Fitz, a huge fan of Donald Trump, wants Wisconsin to send him to Congress, where he can continue to do nothing about gun violence on a national level. Good grief.
Lawmaker Most in Need of a Distemper Shot: Robin Vos
Wisconsin’s Assembly speaker has earned his reputation as an ardent foe of open government as well as one of the state’s pettiest politicians. This year, he pushed a bill to shield the names of state lottery winners, over the objections of the state’s lottery director, as well as legislation to purge thousands of names from online court records and to seal case files. He refused to let Democratic state Rep. Jimmy Anderson attend meetings remotely due to his disability, then accused him of “grandstanding” for seeking this accommodation, claiming it was “all about making Republicans look bad.” Trust us, with Vos as speaker, they’ve got that covered.
Science Denier of the Year: Robin Vos
This fall, as wildfires raged in California and Wisconsin braced for pre-Halloween snowstorms, Vos earned a second Cheap Shot by denigrating a state task force on climate change. He said it was formed by Gov. Tony Evers “for political reasons,” adding: “I don’t know if climate change is real. I think it probably is. I have no idea why it is occurring, nor do most people on this planet.” Actually, the scientific consensus is rock solid and only 13 percent of Americans are foolish enough to deny it. Sadly, many of them hold public office.
Don’t Let the Door Hit You Award: Sean Duffy
During his nine years representing a solidly red district in Congress, this former reality TV star often embarrassed his state and nation — at least the portion that can still feel shame. During an appalling appearance on Chris Hayes’ MSNBC show in June, he steadfastly refused to name a single thing that bothered him about Trump’s shocking behavior, as detailed in what Duffy dubbed the “fake” Mueller report. He quit this year in mid-term, purportedly for family reasons, but within weeks was reborn as a CNN analyst, making headlines for suggesting that a diplomat who testified about how Trump misused his position was some sort of traitor. It sure would be nice if Duffy were to fade from public view once and for all.
Misstepper of the Year: Tony Evers
Wisconsin new governor came to the job this year with a deep background in education, so it’s a bit baffling to see how little he seems to have learned about what not to do. Like, for instance, don’t piss off your base by appointing a utility lawyer to the commission that regulates utilities. Don’t get yourself sued by selectively excluding a conservative news outlet from getting press releases and turning away its reporters from events. Don’t mothball your predecessor’s higher standards for complying with open records requests. Oh, and don’t go blaming anyone else for the entirely avoidable messes you’ve made.
Polluters’ Paradise Award: State of Wisconsin
The Badger State, home of Aldo Leopold and Gaylord Nelson, just ranked number one in the nation — in terms of how drastically it has cut funding for environmental protection over the last decade. The Environmental Integrity Project found that spending by the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources dropped 36 percent between 2008 and 2018, mostly under the reign of former Gov. Scott Walker. The group’s executive director said the cuts occurred during a time of rapid expansion by polluting industries, and led to thousands of violations going undetected and uncorrected. It’s no wonder that Walker is taking a job out of state.
The Dividends of Division Award: Scott Walker
Having been drummed out of office in 2018 after riding his “divide and conquer” political style to three gubernatorial wins, Walker set out to cash in on his celebrity, taking a job as president of the Young America’s Foundation, for which he can expect compensation of about $1 million a year. He told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel that he and his wife, Tonette, spent “a lot of time thinking about and praying about” this new position, which he’ll start in 2021. “It just feels like God’s calling us to take on this mission.” His mandatory four-year commitment to the job means he cannot again seek elective office until at least 2025. Thanks, God.
Militarist of the Year: Tammy Baldwin
While much of Madison is deeply opposed to siting F-35 fighter planes at Truax Field, Wisconsin’s only Democratic U.S. senator boasts about being “a leading advocate” for them. Never mind that noise from the planes will render more than 1,000 homes “incompatible with residential use” and potentially displace hundreds of people, especially minorities. Never mind that the planes may house nuclear bombs and are part of the nation’s insane first-strike strategy. Never mind that Baldwin purports to be “a progressive fighter for Wisconsin.” On this issue, she’s just another devotee of the military-industrial complex. Sad.
Worst Campaign: Lisa Neubauer
It really takes some doing to lose an election during the height of anti-Trump backlash to an extreme conservative with a track record of open bigotry, but this appellate court judge was up to the task. Her race against Brian Hagedorn for state Supreme Court was utterly uninspired. Rather than push back against Trumpism and stick up for working people (a proven winning strategy), Neubauer endlessly vowed to be “fair, impartial and independent” — pretty much the last thing voters want on an ideologically charged court. She even refused to express support for reproductive rights, saying “I want to have an open mind.” It’s no wonder she became the first state Supreme Court candidate in more than a decade to lose despite having the edge in terms of campaign spending.
Luckiest. Dude. Ever. Award: Brian Hagedorn
When Wisconsin voters in 2018 elected a full slate of Democrats to state constitutional offices, it looked as though Wisconsin was shifting back to blue, after helping seal the deal for Trump two years before. That boded badly for Hagedorn, who served as Walker’s top lawyer and whose candidacy was wounded further by revelations that he has likened homosexuality to bestiality, called Planned Parenthood “a wicked organization,” and cofounded a Christian school that fires teachers and expels students for being gay. But he nonetheless pulled out a win, thanks to Neubauer’s ineptitude and an infusion of GOP cash late in the campaign. Now the court is certain to be dominated by conservatives until 2023—perhaps longer, if their luck does not run out.
Zero Sense Award: Madison School District
Madison schools aspire to be a welcoming and safe environment for everyone — except, perhaps, school employees. This fall, the district’s zero tolerance approach drew local outrage and national attention when a black security guard was fired for using the n-word in reply to a student who was calling him that, as in “I’m not your n-word. Do not call me that.” Even Cher got involved, offering to pay the guard’s legal costs. The district was forced to reinstate him — and to admit, by golly by gosh, that context does matter when it comes to how words are used. Maybe that’s something it should have already known?
Queen of Mean Award: Vicki McKenna
When Isthmus broke the news that Mandela Barnes, Wisconsin’s lieutenant governor, did not actually obtain a college degree, this WISN talk show host zeroed in on the fact that he had studied broadcast journalism, which she called “a lame, mail-it-in, basket-weaving major” that she could help him complete in a weekend. Smart move, that: denigrate an entire profession that does more each day to advance our democratic ideals than an ignorant blowhard like McKenna could do in a lifetime. Trust us: Real journalists are glad McKenna makes her living in an entirely different profession.
Most Obnoxious Use of Public Art:Madison Central Library
How’s this for a rotten way to prevent people who have the audacity to lack homes from resting their rears? Placing jagged metal along the library’s windowsill on Mifflin Street is one step short of automatically spraying anyone who sits down with incapacitating agents. As public art goes, this is way more offensive than Nails Tails, which got the heave-ho this year.
Dumbest Self-Infected Wound: Lafayette County officials
There are times when the actions of people in power make us angry; worse are the times when they make us ashamed. That’s what members of the Lafayette County commission managed to do when they introduced a resolution threatening to prosecute media and punish officials who deviated from the official line on a water contamination report — all because a prior news report contained errors that were subsequently corrected. This hysterical reaction, which also involved officials in Iowa and Grant counties, was abandoned after it drew national attention and widespread condemnation, but the damage done to the county’s reputation will be hard to repair.
Blame Game Award: Toriana Pettaway
Madison’s racial equity coordinator had a ready explanation for why her nomination papers for mayor were rejected for lacking enough valid signatures: the clerk’s office was racist, doling out “some White Supremacy BS.” So she launched a write-in campaign to keep such outrages from happening again, snaring 267 votes out of more than 37,000 cast. She was then suspended from her job, allegedly for insubordination and poor work performance, and is no longer employed by the city. Whose fault is that?
Most Disappointing Politician: Satya Rhodes-Conway
We looked hard for a fitting Cheap Shot to give Madison’s new mayor. She raised concerns about her attitude toward the homeless in declaring “the party’s over” for the folks who congregate at the top of State Street, but her crackdown focused on illegal behavior. She sort of picked a fight with the cops when they responded to a youth in crisis by throwing punches, but they sort of had it coming. She initially took a soft line toward the prospect of F-35 fighter jets in Madison but eventually came around to asking some tough questions. It is all quite irritating, Ms. Mayor. You need to do a much better job of giving us reasons to skewer you. This cannot happen again.
Ingrates of the Year: Citizens of Madison
This year brought an end to the on-again, off-again reign of Paul Soglin, who led the city capably and honorably for 22 years. He is as responsible as anyone for the State Street Mall, Civic Center, Monona Terrace and much more. He poured his heart and soul and yes, even his irascibility, into the job of being mayor. And in return, the city to which he has devoted his life has yet to honor him with so much as a park bench. Let’s make sure 2020 is the year we correct this lamentable omission. And let’s make sure it’s something better than a park bench.
How Soon They Forget Award: Tim Carpenter
Here’s a Cheap Shot based on a press release that got no attention. The release from Carpenter, a Democratic state senator from Milwaukee, said it was issued “today, Groundhog Day,” and it accused Republicans of repeatedly making false claims. The only problem: The release was dated and sent on Feb. 1; Groundhog Day, last we checked, is Feb. 2. Bet Carpenter won’t make that same mistake next year. Or will he?
In Memoriam
Harold Scheub
Regarded as one of the world’s leading experts on African folklore, this UW-Madison professor “passed away peacefully” on Oct. 16 at age 88. As a graduate student, he famously spent four years walking 1,500 miles through several African nations, collecting stories, before logging an astonishing 43 years at UW-Madison as one of its most popular professors. “He brought to life the spirit and wonder of the vast African culture and made it instantly meaningful to all of us,” recalled one UW official. “His belief in the universal power of storytelling was inspiring.”
Virginia Henderson
This longtime Madison school psychologist, diversity consultant and advocate for the African American community died April 27 at age 87 of complications from pneumonia. She and her husband, Dr. Perry Henderson, were active local volunteers and philanthropists. She helped found Women in Focus, a local group devoted to helping students of color achieve their dreams, as well as the African American Ethnic Academy, a program to teach black children about African American culture and heritage. Ruben Anthony of the Urban League of Greater Madison called her “a role model for many people for many years.”
Glenn Trudel
Joel Skornicka
The key to being a good mayor is not charisma, erudition or even pugnacity; it’s competence. By that light, Joel Skornicka, who served in that position in Madison from 1979 to 1984, was an outstanding mayor. He appointed good people and listened to what they had to say. Much of his career was spent as an administrator at UW-Madison, which two decades ago named an annual public service award in his honor, to support “passionate, civic-minded” students. Skornica died unexpectedly on Nov. 16 at age 82 of a suspected blood clot.
Morris Andrews
This one-time head of the Wisconsin Education Association Council died of complications from cancer and a stroke on Oct. 10 at age 83. He is credited with making WEAC one of the state’s most powerful unions, before becoming a political consultant and advisor for the LGBTQ group Fair Wisconsin and the campaign to build the Monona Terrace convention center. His skills at persuasion were formidable. As his son put it, “He could talk a dog off a meat truck.”
James Martin
The second African American judge in the history of Dane County “did a good job of reminding us of the color of most of our skins,” recalled former Chief Judge Bill Foust. Martin was a high school and college athlete, basketball referee and assistant UW-Madison football coach, and his personal accomplishments include golfing 18 holes in all 50 states. But Martin, who died June 29 at age 74 after a brief illness, was also regarded as a good judge.
Pat Schneider
That there is no more honorable profession than journalism is amply demonstrated by the career of this longtime reporter, who died Sept. 29 at age 65 after a long battle with cancer. Schneider, who logged a quarter century at The Capital Times, was unabashed in her advocacy for the vulnerable, and fearless in her scorn for their oppressors. Said her former editor, Chris Murphy, “When people talk about journalism’s greatest public good — holding our public and private leaders to account — they’re talking about reporters like Pat.”
Brent Nicastro
Ron McCrea
This was also the year we lost former Cap Times City Editor Ron McCrea, who died of cancer on Dec. 13 at age 76. McCrea helped lead the 1977 strike against the paper’s owners and became editor of the strike paper, the Press Connection, which played a historic role in thwarting the U.S. government’s efforts to suppress a story in The Progressive magazine dealing with nuclear secrecy. He went on to serve as a spokesperson for Gov. Tony Earl and he penned a great book on Frank Lloyd Wright. “He was bright, clever and fun,” reflected Cap Times Editor Emeritus Dave Zweifel. “His passing leaves an enormous hole in our lives.”
—Bill Lueders
[Editor's note: This article was corrected to note that noise from F-35 fighters would render more than 1,000 homes, not dozens, incompatible with residential use and potentially displace hundreds of people.]
